tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34540815101006455852024-02-19T08:04:49.477-08:00Story Time MinistriesWe're a family of 10, minus two. Each day is a challenge and each day is an adventure. This is my journey of loss, recovery, and hope.spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-61723832820862735502023-10-17T23:28:00.001-07:002023-10-17T23:28:44.542-07:00I am broken and gone. The worst has happened<p> <span style="font-family: courier;">What in the actual Fuck?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: courier;">This is real. The biggest fear has come to pass. I lost my kids. He took my kids. He broke my kids. I don't know why I've stayed at this point. They're long gone. The only thing that kept me alive, kept me going ... was fighting for them. But they aren't my children anymore. They are victims of his abuse. Alienation, threats, gaslighting, misrebrance of the past. He's had two years to drill it into them. But he started years before he threw me out - by arrest. He stole my children, my home, my family, my business and even took away my dreams. I'll never have a career. I'm going to be a pathetic 60 year old dog walker. I'm hoping my parents are very much incapacitated soon. I want them to realize that they started writing off the only person who cared about them when I was nine years old. If I'm lucky my dad will do something stupid and just die. I've sat in the ICU with him as a John Doe more than once. He will be a better parent to me 6 feet under than he ever has alive. If I'm really lucky... he'll take the psycho wife with him. Two birds. My mother, I missed her at first. But when I've realized what she's become ... she's already a zombie. She was a terrible mother and when I didn't think she could get worse ... MY broken heart over losing my kids to my narcissist ex was too stressful for her. If I'm lucky, the stress will take her out.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: courier;">I will not attend or even take part in planning these funerals. By dad ... he doesn't have anyone else. My mom, I can only hope I'm not named on anything. Most importantly, for the first time in my life, if they could be helpful loving parents, they will be 6ft under by December </span></p>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-50658584480988851672019-03-11T00:45:00.000-07:002019-03-11T00:45:23.972-07:00Yes, it has been a very long time since posting anything. I have kept myself busy with stupid viral videos, NetFlix, Facebook, and any other distraction. I thought I dealt with grief, but I ignored it. I ignored grief as long as possible. I have amazing kids. Children are my life. Especially after losing my baby.<br />
They grow up. I can't be their "everything" I tried. But I have failed. I don't know what comes next. I love them. I'm so sorry, if I haven't lived up to that.spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-56733630629838564922015-07-15T10:02:00.000-07:002015-07-17T19:59:34.587-07:00"happy" birthday sweet girlThere are so many things I remember, so poignantly. We had a brand new livingroom, which was gorgeous. Casper decorated it while My mother took Kale, Timber, and me to <a href="http://www.pisgahviewranch.net/" target="_blank">Pisgah View, NC</a>. We came home to this amazing livingroom that looked like the "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extreme_Makeover" target="_blank">move that bus</a>" guy had stopped in and redecorated. The living room, which is probably the second most used place in the house was amazing. I was a nesting-nut about three weeks before Story was born. I still have my "to-do" list locked away with her stuff. It all got taken care of. The house was perfect. I knew I was in labor about 3:40am, for certain,<br />
When Diane and Shannon (and her baby boy Jaxson) arrived, I was contentedly camped out on the couch. Watching <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extreme_Makeover" target="_blank">RENT</a>. They proceeded to come in and make small talk and set up. This part of being content on the couch goes back to the amazing livingroom that Casper had created. It was peaceful and perfect.<br />
I labored on the couch and with my ball in front of Rent. I eventually moved to our garden tub. The CD player was ready with <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNmlUYZvcoE&list=PLF6191CBAE4AB6046" target="_blank">RENT OBC</a><br />
I labored and kept slipping in my giant tub. Finally, giving up hope of any real bearings, I ran to my closet and grabbed the biggest towel I could find. I was shivering. My body gave up trying to regulate temperature, so close to birth. I shivered my way to my plastic-wrapped bed, and there our sweet daughter was born with just a few fun and easy (OUCH - nothing easy about having a baby out of water!!) she was finally out and I finally held her. My son cut her cord and Daddy immediately held her. I didn't think to have a camera on hand. It was all so quick.spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-32703324222217842202015-04-29T21:46:00.001-07:002015-04-30T10:03:17.803-07:00Happy Anniversary RENT<br />
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Yes, this is the first update in a LONG while</div>
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"<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">Jelly Bean" is *finally* sleeping. Comfortably, soundly, sleeping.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"> </span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">*me staring intently* Ok he's breathing. I should sleep.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">Close eyes and try to sleep. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">WHY is he *SO* soundly sleeping?!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">This can't be good.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">*me staring intently* <sigh> I will not sleep</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">and here I will sit for the rest of the night</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><intently staring></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">The life of a SIDS mom.</span></div>
spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-4451150432774801422012-10-15T07:38:00.001-07:002012-10-15T07:38:20.040-07:00national remembrance day<span style="font-size: large;"><i>This is the proclamation made 24 years ago:</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">By
the President of the </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">United States of
America</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A
Proclamation</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Each
year, approximately a million pregnancies in the </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">United States</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> end in miscarriage,
stillbirth, or the death of the newborn child. National observance of Pregnancy
and Infant Loss Awareness Month, 1988, offers us the opportunity to increase
our understanding of the great tragedy involved in the deaths of unborn and
newborn babies. It also enables us to consider how, as individuals and
communities, we can meet the needs of bereaved parents and family members and
work to prevent causes of these problems.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Health
care professionals recognize that trends of recent years, such as smaller
family size and the postponement of childbearing, adds another dimension of <span class="SpellE">poignance</span> to the grief of parents who have lost infants.
More than 700 local, national, and international support groups are supplying
programs and strategies designed to help parents cope with their loss. Parents
who have suffered their own losses, health care professionals, and specially
trained hospital staff members are helping newly bereaved parents deal
constructively with loss.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Compassionate
Americans are also assisting women who suffer bereavement, guilt, and emotional
and physical trauma that accompany post-abortion syndrome. We can and must do a
much better job of encouraging adoption as an alternative to abortion; of
helping the single parents who wish to raise their babies; and of offering
friendship and temporal support to the courageous women and girls who give
their children the gifts of life and loving adoptive parents. We can be truly
grateful for the devotion and concern provided by all of these citizens, and we
should offer them our cooperation and support as well.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
Congress, by Senate Joint Resolution 314, has designated the month of October
1988 as ``Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month'' and authorized and
requested the President to issue a proclamation in observance of this month.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Now,
Therefore, I, Ronald Reagan, President of the </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">United States of
America</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">, do hereby proclaim the month of October 1988
as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I call upon the people of the </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">United States</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> to observe this month
with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In
Witness Whereof, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-fifth day of October,
in the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and eighty-eight, and of the </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Independence</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> of the </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">United States of
America</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> the two hundred and thirteenth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Ronald
Reagan</span><br />
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<a href="http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnHKKc-23PrbUNdlhsW5XYMtKDMsehMzhxoeVsTu0TCTopDRpS6ct8TbxK0lywjd8BLR4o7VrFzlMnP7eaX_2cf_bD3WcpPs_h-3lXaCK5aN8fW6-uH6hnGg158SX8YLLtKAYmotV5g5ZM/s400/665811_436440036412591_25512018_o.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-77465316378717343782012-10-04T14:33:00.002-07:002012-10-04T15:13:57.587-07:00life<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">
We are all sick this week. Like, whiny, snotty, feverish, delirious, curl-up-in-a-ball, s.i.c.k! It's fun to be pregnant & sick, ALSO trying to play mom and caretaker. Hubster is sick too, so I can't even try to pawn off a bunch of stuff on him. (Though, I have to be very thankful for the fact that he is still running around and doing far more than I am.) These little things, <i>life</i>, they are things I now complain about. Is it odd to think this way? For three years I would hear people complain about little things, trivial things; or worse, things their kids were doing, and think, "my baby is dead". I am not saying complaining is purposely offensive and that I don't do it ... but I have come to a point where suddenly I realize I am complaining a bit about the little things in life. It still scares me that life can go on. I remember the hour-to-hour thought when Story first died ... How can anyone go on about their lives? Why didn't the world stand still? </div>
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I am a little confused as to where I am going with this. Especially since I sat down to type about the utterly heartbreaking "A Major Event in my Life" article that my son wrote in class today. That is really why I logged in to update. (And no, I still haven't finished the unbelievable saga of the events that took place in July.) So, I am complaining. I don't feel good, I can't seem to stay on top of housework, kids' schoolwork, the animals, rescue work, home school events, etc. For those who have recently endured a loss ... I am very sorry for complaining. It is really all trivial. I am a little scared. I guess this means I am healing, but <i>never</i> getting over it. Constantly trying to understand the <i>new normal</i> that I am living.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7fiGqOkYwH6O16YzrftCT5kXnv6fx0PxtYsiWbqVKzp2kqJSRd1gMn2xuPvvFf0RjvDqNPk00KddcjpMXTek374dn5XqlPgz2WgRsFjShS_h9_nv6pjBNkcgaEyfUIbzZ6QmP4s1SCHS6/s1600/ecclesiastes3-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7fiGqOkYwH6O16YzrftCT5kXnv6fx0PxtYsiWbqVKzp2kqJSRd1gMn2xuPvvFf0RjvDqNPk00KddcjpMXTek374dn5XqlPgz2WgRsFjShS_h9_nv6pjBNkcgaEyfUIbzZ6QmP4s1SCHS6/s320/ecclesiastes3-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-46762026977113661412012-09-21T15:30:00.000-07:002012-10-06T20:00:48.602-07:00missing pieces<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-2kbaseeUsWAU-ZznYnLKtxqtzH-UJesdh9HdLj1crvo-Iao7lbGClRYL0Vafzz9VpEO2o2pwNfFSjUOHjAjezGj5Sh5H69vTajPhvzVbe7B9WEeY7PK-tZGR5KMhTeKCG8TFMktMUTi-/s1600/15945_192723581390_2560985_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-2kbaseeUsWAU-ZznYnLKtxqtzH-UJesdh9HdLj1crvo-Iao7lbGClRYL0Vafzz9VpEO2o2pwNfFSjUOHjAjezGj5Sh5H69vTajPhvzVbe7B9WEeY7PK-tZGR5KMhTeKCG8TFMktMUTi-/s320/15945_192723581390_2560985_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "Kalinga","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I saw this picture and
really had to think. At first glance my mind assumed it was Chapel, but I knew
it was not. Then, I realized how emotionally and mentally gone I was, for at
least a year following Story's death. I am watching all the things Chapel is doing
now (she is the age Timber was when Story died) and I truly can't remember her
being this age. The same for Kale; he went from preschooler to big kid
overnight.</span></div>
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spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-39302355443984185552012-08-25T22:01:00.001-07:002012-08-25T22:01:29.187-07:00so much ....<div style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">
As usual, I have a book I could write about the month of July. In fact, it reads like a fictional drama when I review the past month in my head. Hard to believe it all really happened. I suppose I will get to writing that tomorrow, in between work and taking one of our <a href="http://rescue620.weebly.com/dogs-for-adoption.html" target="_blank">rescue dogs</a> to meet her new family (YAY!). (<a href="http://rescue620.weebly.com/" target="_blank"><i style="color: lime;">rescue620.weebly.com/</i></a>) </div>
<div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;">So to bide the time, I thought I would go ahead and share the exclusive engagement we will be attending/participating in.</span></div>
<br />
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<br />spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-37262764048657304332012-04-25T07:52:00.000-07:002012-04-25T07:52:35.338-07:00realization<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Khmer UI","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It has been a while since I have added anything to
this blog. I don’t think there is really anyone who reads it so I suppose I
blog more for myself than anything else; but hey, if my random thoughts and
ramblings can help someone else, I suppose that is the reason I put it all out
there. I logged into facebook this morning (who am I kidding, I am always
logged into facebook) and my friend’s blog was at the top of my news feed. Her
daughter is in heaven with Story. She is expecting a little girl this year. The
blog is a letter to her daughter in heaven and in the letter she promised to
tell the new baby all about her sister she would never meet. I struggled to
catch my breath as I realized that Chapel would never know Story. Even if she
was here on this earth for a short amount of time, my children knew her as
their sister. The held her, loved her, and she was real to them. She will only
ever be a story (pun not intended but so painfully true) to Chapel. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-6623862932123689622011-08-28T10:15:00.000-07:002011-08-28T10:15:51.641-07:00heaven<div id="yui_3_2_0_16_13145441962652348" style="right: auto;"><span id="yui_3_2_0_16_13145441962652396" style="right: auto;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In an <span id="misspell-0" style="right: auto;"><span id="yui_3_2_0_1_13145441962657801" style="right: auto;">online</span></span> support group for families whose babies were claimed by SIDS/<span id="misspell-1">SUID</span> we were having a conversation about how God uses each one of us to help others going through the same thing we are experiencing. A very wise friend in the group posted the following:</span></span></div><div id="yui_3_2_0_16_13145441962652350" style="right: auto;"><span id="yui_3_2_0_16_13145441962652414" style="right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>"I hate that any of us need the comfort and insight that we share!!!!! I don't want to minister to anyone because I don't want anyone to NEED to be ministered to!!!! But, for some reason, this is how God designed it... I wish it was all milk and honey and the Garden of Eden, but it isn't. Someday, though, someday we will be in Heaven, at the feet of Jesus, with our precious babies right there with us. One day, I told a good friend that I was a little afraid of going to Heaven... I was afraid I would not pay proper respect to Jesus because I would be pushing him aside so I could find Tommy. My friend looked at me and said, "Cinnamon, you won't have to. He already knows your heart... He will be holding Tommy when you get there." Praise God for a savior that knows our heart and our hurt! I just wish we didn't have any hurt!"</em></span></span></div><div id="yui_3_2_0_16_13145441962652352" style="right: auto;"><span style="right: auto;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It has really stuck with me. At first I burst into tears, because that is exactly how I feel, I can't wait to get to Heaven so I can hold Story again; and then, I felt like I was disrespecting my Savior by thinking that way. I am so glad Cinnamon could put it so eloquently into words. </span></span></div><div id="yui_3_2_0_16_13145441962652354" style="right: auto;"><span style="right: auto;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I also recently heard this <span id="misspell-2">song</span>, which I think goes so well with this post. </span></span></div><div style="right: auto;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://1.gvt0.com/vi/Z9JTwJ_1lzE/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Z9JTwJ_1lzE&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Z9JTwJ_1lzE&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><div style="right: auto;"><br />
</div>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-7844203802844652962011-07-27T20:38:00.000-07:002011-07-27T20:38:26.886-07:00our father who art in heaven<div style="margin: 5.45pt 0in 0pt 8.15pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: SimSun; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I will not <i>ever</i> forget the night I pulled the covers up to tuck Kale in and asked him to say his prayers. We don’t really have a specific prayer that we say every night, he is always welcome so speak to The Good Lord about anything, often he would recite the Lords Prayer, which we had studied, so he understood what he was praying.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 8.15pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: SimSun; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I believe it was August 2nd 2009. Kale looked at me, and then fell onto me - not as a child, but a grieving big brother - something he should never have to experience as a child. He was asked by our pastor to come up to the pulpit and say the Lords Prayer at Story’s memorial on July 31, 2009. Kale was well versed in this prayer and had such a deep connection with Story - he was locked eyes with the canvas that<a href="http://www.nielsensonline.com/"> Cristy Nielson</a> so generously created for our family. Microphone in hand, Kale prayed. I think everyone had tears in their eyes. Back to August 2<sup>nd</sup> - he told me he didn’t want to pray because it made him cry. </span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 8.15pt;"><span style="font-family: Simsun;">What do you tell a 7-year-old who was not refusing to pray, but physically ached at the thought; it hurt deep in his soul to realize this loss. He just could not understand why *ALL* of our earnest prayers did not bring her back. He burst into tears. He would not hold me or talk about it further. To this day he will only recite The Lords Prayer with Timber; who is still learning and doesn’t know the prayer in its entirety. Kale will do anything for his sisters. </span></div><div style="margin-left: 8.15pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: SimSun; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">I grieve and tear up, quite frequently, knowing he should have another younger sister and to go into the thoughts of what he must feel about not having his big brother. Kale is a child who lives to love and all of this is missing in his life. My sweet boy is an 8-year-old that will happily change a cloth diaper, feed his baby sister, help his middle sister with anything she needs, and he enjoys doing all of this. Kale was the one to cut Story’s umbilical cord. He feels the loss. I desperately wish I could take it all away. He shouldn’t be going through this. What really blows me away is that his primary concern is for how I am coping. He truly is an amazing child and wise beyond his years.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEDP84x62sz0qQfKl2h1u8Vmdg9HGQfvB1eM9jVkjsNn465_P7IkSHDSvU8swb6XupZiPFpFvVaH69JVL8ZEDPEM6MVUCoa8HRKtShIdM9qYIjPe_8qzAkUsdEKFjyXutcUFa07AmMkgWq/s1600/KALE+BJORN.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEDP84x62sz0qQfKl2h1u8Vmdg9HGQfvB1eM9jVkjsNn465_P7IkSHDSvU8swb6XupZiPFpFvVaH69JVL8ZEDPEM6MVUCoa8HRKtShIdM9qYIjPe_8qzAkUsdEKFjyXutcUFa07AmMkgWq/s320/KALE+BJORN.jpg" t$="true" width="277" /></a></div>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-7684340169386753172011-07-16T20:13:00.000-07:002011-07-17T18:55:14.247-07:00do something - Day 2<div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="http://www.dosomething.org/scavenger-hunt/leaderboard?team_name=Story+Time+Ministries&zip=32709"><img border="0" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2lG6EwwGI4MhSja-dzDfJza19SU_uFunVw3Kf9b68gN3D7eTs-Ew_dyPNYT2VFh746c14rCi5PrS19I9mniGN3hGHMuxzWKiJgRUHZ_NjhJj4GCSrxIuZlofTTD_0DU2IqY4ldUOrx7mo/s1600/logo.png" /></a><span style="font-family: Vijaya; font-size: 22pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Welcome to <strong>Day 2</strong> of the Scavenger Hunt. </span></div></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Vijaya; font-size: 22pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Today's cause is Education. There are 2 challenges to complete today.</span><span style="font-family: Vijaya; font-size: 18pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Vijaya;"><b>Challenge 1:</b> Every 26 seconds a student drops out! Have every member of your team share this stat on Facebook. "Like" and tag Do Something in your post.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Vijaya; font-size: 18pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Points: 10</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL2OLvGx63bciR4v3zlJ8k-KFC7-W3Ekn7N821wxk2mmP5Ssk-DmL_uypQR0Mo1fCCGHMSukF4XMmhkGRkQUAONBOettSP6yZ6g0sTDfIdFRqUnCMKXljE73C4azMgwcVegeHETsgFVEbS/s1600/IMAG0048.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL2OLvGx63bciR4v3zlJ8k-KFC7-W3Ekn7N821wxk2mmP5Ssk-DmL_uypQR0Mo1fCCGHMSukF4XMmhkGRkQUAONBOettSP6yZ6g0sTDfIdFRqUnCMKXljE73C4azMgwcVegeHETsgFVEbS/s320/IMAG0048.jpg" width="180" /></a><b><span style="font-family: Vijaya; font-size: 18pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Challenge 2:</span></b><span style="font-family: Vijaya; font-size: 18pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"> Donate new school supplies at your local Staples store for <em>Do Something's</em> "Staples for Students"</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Vijaya; font-size: 18pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Points: 20</span></div><div class="MsoBodyText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Vijaya;">BONUS: Snap a pic and send it to <a href="mailto:notebooks@dosomething.org">notebooks@dosomething.org</a> for a chance to win a Lenovo laptop</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Vijaya; font-size: 18pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">When you're done with the challenges, don't forget to <a href="http://www.dosomething.org/scavenger-hunt/leaderboard?team_name=Story+Time+Ministries&zip=32709">REPORT BACK</a> to redeem your points.</span></div><span style="font-family: Vijaya; font-size: 18pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">To learn more about education, check out <a href="http://www.dosomething.org/whatsyourthing/Education">these great resources</a>.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWJcp-gE_XRMaaDfhrAI_DjfX4xnJHvt-lcZ-ALZw1cCtsb-p8aOnd__bTU6qfDI0kE3bauS4L0_VSAoJtmwOGZ-FNzo7O9LQ2BdZ5mm7oAYDzW4Oxj9dkFE9LWRxlpo9xr7dx1stCeCC7/s1600/image0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="275" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWJcp-gE_XRMaaDfhrAI_DjfX4xnJHvt-lcZ-ALZw1cCtsb-p8aOnd__bTU6qfDI0kE3bauS4L0_VSAoJtmwOGZ-FNzo7O9LQ2BdZ5mm7oAYDzW4Oxj9dkFE9LWRxlpo9xr7dx1stCeCC7/s400/image0.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-30469189322971395512011-07-15T08:58:00.000-07:002011-07-15T08:58:45.371-07:00happy birthday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV3QTHB_EI2Qr0kXBxgZfTBqDFN2HjxriDzZol33kE_Dsz7cZ9dD6FgHtuO-CsmHSzTWM6ysgJF0BKezaVYFwpFkrESBa25GwwzgUgbYZ_PMTgoQMYcLs1-Jx6Msks-N2y_0FyXTnftXrg/s1600/220802_143942395679200_138574712882635_259845_1886697_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV3QTHB_EI2Qr0kXBxgZfTBqDFN2HjxriDzZol33kE_Dsz7cZ9dD6FgHtuO-CsmHSzTWM6ysgJF0BKezaVYFwpFkrESBa25GwwzgUgbYZ_PMTgoQMYcLs1-Jx6Msks-N2y_0FyXTnftXrg/s640/220802_143942395679200_138574712882635_259845_1886697_o.jpg" width="344" /></a></div>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-37117770109604937812011-07-13T22:36:00.000-07:002011-07-19T21:18:28.380-07:00Do Something with me ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.dosomething.org/scavenger-hunt/leaderboard?team_name=Story+Time+Ministries&zip=32709"><img border="0" height="71" m$="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jb-CAx98w38/Th5_Jk6zn4I/AAAAAAAAAHA/Mvbn0kUDnb0/s400/eblastheader_hunt.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><strong>Click <a href="http://www.dosomething.org/scavenger-hunt/leaderboard?team_name=Story+Time+Ministries&zip=32709">here</a> to get started</strong></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><strong><span style="font-family: Bradley Hand ITC; font-size: large;">Welcome to Day 1 of the Scavenger Hunt. Today's cause is the Environment. There are 3 challenges to complete today.</span></strong></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><strong>Challenge 1:</strong> <span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 16pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Collect 20 cans and recycle them</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">Points: 5</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b><span style="font-family: Candara;">Challenge 2:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 16pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Create a work of art out of recyclables and put it in a public place to raise awareness about proper recycling</span><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">Points: 15</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">BONUS: Send a picture of your artwork to <a href="mailto:art@dosomething.org">art@dosomething.org</a> for a chance to win a brand new Lenovo laptop</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><b><span style="font-family: Candara;">Challenge 3:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";"> </span><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 16pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Post 5 flyers about local recycling guidelines next to trash and recycling bins. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC";">Points: 10</span></div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">When you're done with the challenges, don't forget to <span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.dosomething.org/scavenger-hunt/challenges#">REPORT BACK</a></span> to redeem your points. To quadruple your points for any challenge, submit a photo along with it.</span></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho0zmbYq_cy-QJm4IMEeTQ_Qnzeq0CMJj2yhcvncedHdVal6Ms6rMVzBQQ_cokTXJgu0L4ppUyeFG9Zm1J6yLRPs9-XXPjG5cyNVFDYWkn9LibLt8SDYpoo-ToEPcWCBqWXiwI1TVwW4uJ/s1600/DSCF0568.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="141" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho0zmbYq_cy-QJm4IMEeTQ_Qnzeq0CMJj2yhcvncedHdVal6Ms6rMVzBQQ_cokTXJgu0L4ppUyeFG9Zm1J6yLRPs9-XXPjG5cyNVFDYWkn9LibLt8SDYpoo-ToEPcWCBqWXiwI1TVwW4uJ/s200/DSCF0568.JPG" t$="true" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-w_xEclf17__BxJVMmfJ-hS1iKGHjsLDWUV8DEdVwO4djTvFXXOCrBRHmCkQqHpiAAqSM24TZr0UoSzSTKWwQPN_8A0DIg1xuu4g-N2QrtNZDlh4ZwwBmqZCVCanWR9867WqibV6RZlC6/s1600/DSCF0590.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="181" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-w_xEclf17__BxJVMmfJ-hS1iKGHjsLDWUV8DEdVwO4djTvFXXOCrBRHmCkQqHpiAAqSM24TZr0UoSzSTKWwQPN_8A0DIg1xuu4g-N2QrtNZDlh4ZwwBmqZCVCanWR9867WqibV6RZlC6/s200/DSCF0590.JPG" t$="true" width="200" /></a></div>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-47972139180172273082011-07-12T10:10:00.000-07:002011-07-14T10:31:15.637-07:00Story Time Ministries DoSomething.org Scavenger Hunt<div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Click <a href="http://www.dosomething.org/scavenger-hunt/leaderboard?team_name=Story+Time+Ministries&zip=32709&signedup=true&invite=yes">Here</a> To Get Started</span></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b>What is the Scavenger Hunt?</b><br />
The Scavenger Hunt is 11 days of challenges that can win you prizes AND make your community a better place.</div><b>How does it work?</b><br />
Each day starting July 11th we'll send daily challenges right to your cell phone or e-mail inbox. Alternately, you can check out the daily challenges right here. If you're not currently signed up to receive challenges on your cell phone, you can text HUNT to 30644 and get daily text messages. The challenges will always be something you can do in your community, alone or with your team.<br />
<b>Can I report back on challenges after July 21st?</b><br />
YES! You'll have until July 25th to report back on all completed challenges.<br />
<b>Can I only complete the challenge for a certain day on that day?</b><br />
Nope! Once a challenge is released, you're welcome to complete it throughout the Scavenger Hunt. For example, you can complete Day 1's challenge on Day 5!<br />
<b>How does report back work?</b><br />
If you are using your cell phone, you will need to stay tuned for each challenge and the keyword required to report that you've completed it. If you are using the web, you will just need to click the Report Back button next to that day’s challenge. For some challenges, you will be given the option to send in a photo of you and your team completing the challenge. <br />
<b>Do I need to be part of a team?</b><br />
Nope, if you want you can take part all by yourself. We definitely suggest that you join with a team, though- the more team members you have, the more points you can get, and getting more points gives you a bigger chance of winning a trip to L.A.!<br />
<b>How big do teams have to be?</b><br />
Teams can be as small as you and your best friend or as large as you and your soccer team!<br />
<b>Does every team member need to report back? </b><br />
One or all of your team members can report back. We know what team you're on, so your points will only be counted once. BUT, every day we're giving away Bonus prizes of Lenovo laptops. These laptops are given to individuals who report back. So, everyone on your team who reports back has a chance to win a laptop of their own.<br />
<b>How do I send in a photo?</b><br />
If you are using your mobile phone, you can e-mail us a photo at huntpics@dosomething.org. If you are participating via the web, you will be able to submit it online. When you send in a pic, you quadruple your points for that challenge! So, get snapping!<br />
<b>How can I win prizes?</b><br />
We're giving out Lenovo laptops for different actions each day. We can’t tell you exactly what you’ll have to do each day without giving away the challenges. But, we can tell you how to make sure that you’re eligible to win. To be eligible to win prizes make sure that you:<br />
<ul><li>Complete a challenge and tell us about it.</li>
<li>Verify that you've completed a challenge by snapping a pic and uploading it when you report back, or by e-mailing the photo to huntpics@dosomething.org </li>
<li>Complete challenges early- some days we'll offer prizes to the first people to send in a picture of the challenge they completed.</li>
</ul><br />
<b>How can I win scholarships?</b><br />
We're awarding $500 scholarships to every member of one randomly selected team (up to 11 members) that has signed up by the first day of the Scavenger Hunt, July 11th. <br />
<b>How do I verify that I did a challenge?</b><br />
To verify with your phone, just follow the instructions that we'll text out to you. To verify online, go to the challenges page, and follow the instructions!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.dosomething.org/scavenger-hunt/leaderboard?team_name=Story+Time+Ministries&zip=32709&signedup=true&invite=yes"><img border="0" height="106" m$="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nMJnWMvLM6o/Th8hVG2ppKI/AAAAAAAAAHY/GZVZ7bs8NL0/s640/scav-header.png" width="640" /></a></div><div align="left"></div>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-18466634125944506392011-07-11T22:33:00.000-07:002011-07-11T22:33:03.171-07:00so muchI want to say so much. I cannot stop crying.<br />
Sharing now. I will follow up later.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/4mmgV6mPvb0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-81841531802068808992011-07-11T16:37:00.000-07:002011-07-11T16:37:14.794-07:00full circle<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 16pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Its only right that <i>today</i>, we are sitting here watching the first season of Digimon on DVD. I have had this DVD for almost ten years. I recently found out it was a collector’s item and listed it on half.com for a pretty hefty sum. I don’t really want to get rid of it, so I listed a nice big number and figured if it sold for that it was worth letting it go. I got notification yesterday that my Digimon DVD had sold. Bittersweet.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 16pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Now, to the back-story … near the end of my pregnancy with Keegan, I never missed an episode of Digimon on FoxKids network. I was taking classes at Valencia and I still remember the time, to this day, I rushed home to catch the 2.30 broadcast of my beloved kids show. I was 18 years old, and couldn’t get enough of this wonderful little cartoon. I ordered the DVD a few days after he was born (and placed for adoption). I think it was kind of my connection to him, knowing I would have it to watch. The dvd has moved from house to house and sat untouched for ten years. Today, I pulled it out to watch it one last time before I mail it off. The kids are fascinated. I am still in a whirlwind of mixed emotions – ten years ago, to the day, I was watching this <i>exact same show</i> with my very first child squirming around inutero. One of the only memories I will share with him (for now). Quite apropos that the order came this week and we are all watching a show that I shared with my first baby boy.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-75704066370348919902011-07-07T23:06:00.000-07:002011-07-07T23:07:24.957-07:00where did I go<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>I was dependable. Maybe I was late more often then not, but I was always where I said I would be. I have always been spacey, only enough to make friends assume it must be the blonde. My word was unshakeable – if I said I would be there or do that I would have something done <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>– it was considered done. There was never a question of me skipping out, or needing a back up. I used to head up projects. I used to make great ideas happen. I started my own businesses. I used to know how …… how to function.</em></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>Is it so hard to fathom that her death would be the end of that person ……</em></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>I don’t want it to be, but I can’t find her.</em></span></div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #741b47; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>If you happen to find this person who used to have a fire lit under her and a reason to do anything please let me know.</em></span></span>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-55599933058687462682011-07-01T09:47:00.001-07:002011-07-01T09:51:55.164-07:00july<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">july</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Today marks ten years that July has been and will be the best and worst month of my life.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Keegan will be ten years old on July 19. The Good Lord knows how much I miss him. I don’t think I could put into words the swirl of emotions that it is to place a child for adoption. Birthing Keegan changed the <a href="http://centralfloridadoula.weebly.com/about-me.html">course of my life</a> forever. In his birth I learned what God had put me on this earth to do, I would be a mother and I would become a midwife. July marks the month that my life changed forever. My husband and I journeyed through personal hell that made us a couple stronger than any mortal bond. Fast forward 8 years and we were welcoming our fourth child into the world July 15, 2009. She was amazing. We celebrated Keegan’s 8<sup>th</sup> birthday as a family of 4. I wish I had taken pictures. Why didn’t I take more pictures?! On July 25, 2009 our baby girl died. Who I was as a person died with her. I was more broken than I had ever thought possible. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Fast forward a year, we celebrated Story’s first birthday with a gorgeous butterfly release and a family celebration … I was also in labor. Chapel was born July 17, 2010. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">All that being said, it is July. </div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">There are so many emotions in this month … what is a girl to do?</span>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-1459266319258607312011-04-25T08:56:00.000-07:002011-04-25T08:56:18.303-07:00processing<span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I am so angry as I think about what was taken from us in her death. We were not allowed to hold her. We had to fight for a chance to even see her. I wanted to scoop her up and cuddle her. I wanted to take my time with her to say goodbye. Maybe a picture or a hand and footprint. Because of the way the police improperly processed everything, it was a crime scene investigation and we were not even allowed to touch her. (Of course, I pressed my face against her cheeks and kissed her – but they would not unzip the body bag all the way. They were nervously rushing us so the M.E. could take her. It has been almost two years and I am just now truly processing the closure that was stolen from us in her death. All of the apologies we received from the officers superiors for improper processing of the scene will never give us that last cuddle. I am angry.</span></span>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-81029047783114459172011-04-24T19:30:00.000-07:002011-08-26T10:02:34.990-07:00easter<span style="color: #741b47;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">How could I not say something on Easter? <span style="color: #351c75;">All I want to do is see her chase down the eggs like all of the other two-year-olds.</span> To run with her brother and sister after these colored orbs that bring such joy. They are hidden in our home on Easter morning. She would hear what it truly means to say <strong>Christ</strong> has risen. I ache to see Story know her baby sister. Two of Storys older siblings knew her and loved her. But her <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d85c6;">oldest</span> and <span style="color: #e06666;">youngest</span> siblings will not know her in <strong><em>this</em></strong> life. All of these things just hang over my head. I know we made the wrong decision in placing Keegan for adoption. He should be here. We didn’t pray enough and ultimately we let emotion make our decision. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">My original thoughts always stray back to Keegan, for a million reasons - because <span style="color: #20124d;"><em><strong>he should be here</strong></em></span>, because I know we could have been all he needed, and because I know and constantly feel the difference between missing my two children that are not with us. We should have kept him, and we didn’t. We were not given the choice to keep her. It is a surreal and completely complicatedly confusing journey. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I really am rambling now. These thoughts are bouncing around in my head. These are my completely unorganized ramblings. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"></div>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-18761810905302889642011-04-07T19:03:00.000-07:002013-05-27T08:17:21.840-07:00out damned spot<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I found myself staring at it tonight. That spot. We completely redecorated the living room and bed room after she died – so there wasn’t a familiar “spot” to stare at. Here I sit, typing and staring. I keep thinking about her exact time of death. What if the power hadn’t gone out that night? Would the entire routine have been different, perhaps she would have lived. What if .....</div>
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A million questions easily run through my mind every.single.day. They won’t stop running through my mind until I meet her in heaven. I know “there are no tears in heaven” but I cannot imagine anything but tears when I hold her again. I cry now, thinking about it. </div>
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I certainly wish I could focus on our reunion, rather than this spot, “Out Damned Spot”. But today, tonight … all I can see is the last minutes she ever lived and try to imagine what she was thinking. This house (as with <i>this life</i>) will never be the same.</div>
spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-65759686736534660122011-03-29T21:21:00.000-07:002011-03-29T18:52:40.285-07:0030 day photo challenge<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><strong>30 DAY PHOTO CHALLENGE</strong> </span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This is a fun way to creatively express yourself. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Join in on the 30 Day Photo Challenge. It will be fun!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Create a Facebook Photo Album labeled 30 Day Photo Challenge.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Each day there is a new challenge to meet with your photo.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I can't wait to see what you come up with</span><br />
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<em><span style="color: black; font-family: Times;"><strong>Who wants to join me?!</strong></span></em></div><strong><em><span style="font-family: Times;"></span></em></strong><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with the longest.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 04 - A picture of your favorite memory.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 05 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 09 - A picture of your night.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the silliest things with.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 12 - A picture of something you love.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 25 - A picture of your day.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.</span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.</span></div><br />
<u><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts - March 7, 2011 -</span></u><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I took liberty with day one by creating a picture to support some of my "fifteen facts". </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(1) I hold the record for youngest female waterskiier. I started waterskiing behind a boat, in the ocean at 19 months old.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(2) I am incredibly accident prone. I don't just hurt myself, but it is usually a catastrophic affair. Most incidences happen on major holidays or while I am pregnant or on vacation. This fact alone could create a "fifteen injuries you wouldn't believe" post!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(3) I love science. In elementary school I won fist place at regional science fair and second place the year later for 2 different projects (which both involved animals). The one that took me to the top was "The Effects of Noise and Light Pollution on Fiddler Crabs". </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(4) Reptile Expos, Livestock Auctions, Animal Shelters ... I cannot be trusted at these places. I can't help myself. Kid in a candy store doesn't even begin to describe it. My heart skips a beat and I must buy something.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(5) I drove past the <a href="http://palmerfeedstore.com/2010/">feed store downtown</a> that sells all kinds of farm animals and I was suddenly headed that way without even realizing it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(6) My life has turned out completely opposite than I had ever imagined, and I love that!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(7) My original drive for having an out-of-hospital birth was because I am a control freak and I don't take "no" ... ever (<a href="http://centralfloridadoula.weebly.com/about-me.html">referring to the OB telling me my birth plan wasn't possible</a> in a hospital at 36 weeks pregnant).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(8) I met the kid who played 'Budnick' on <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101190/">Salute Your Shorts</a> at a birthday party when I was in middle school. We hung out and talked. He was just a normal kid. I was star struck!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(9) I was less than easy to deal with as a teenager. I dropped out of high school in tenth grade and was ordered to complete a full 15 months at Teen Challenge. Thank the good Lord for everything I received there. I graduated highschool a full year before my class and started college before my friends were out of high school.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(10) Kale was on "Monsters in the Morning" at <a href="http://www.monsters.fm/main.html">Real Radio 104.1</a> when he was 7-months-old. He was a hit. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(11) I had two goats and a very large pig in my backyard in a cookie-cutter-neighborhood, with a rigid HOA in East Orlando. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(12) My grandmother was a nurse and delivered twins way back when. I just recently found this out. WOW!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(13) Jesus Christ saved me from eternal death and He has saved me from myself. Knowing this, I vow to die to my own selfish needs daily, but I still just cannot make enough time. A never ending battle.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(14) I will NEVER be whole. My oldest child lives in Missouri and my sweet girl ... I can't even <a href="http://story-time-ministries.tripod.com/">:'(</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(15) I am an open book, but most people are ready for me to 'shut it'!</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5ZG_xnJUsu-arZP-YCGNBbO9ZjwO0P0EZcvBBgKJcWZEYaoKway8KsOSgZT2XTXXEB4uLWcuz0XHCDAZFIapiTvm0kTfkRhVuVbi0QRV9AZFbtfdugK6SdJeEk3GtuxY97zBh7T3w4xYK/s1600/collage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" q6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5ZG_xnJUsu-arZP-YCGNBbO9ZjwO0P0EZcvBBgKJcWZEYaoKway8KsOSgZT2XTXXEB4uLWcuz0XHCDAZFIapiTvm0kTfkRhVuVbi0QRV9AZFbtfdugK6SdJeEk3GtuxY97zBh7T3w4xYK/s400/collage.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #444444;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with the </u><u>longest - March 8, 2010 -</u></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"></span></span></div> <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizTDgJy6idrnNf-jP-nfAtqDXSR6U0fNsbjTABUwothp-Qz4zQ0UFYWat3WJ4gfa4dSqwez0IG6X-QaX_o7DUq6sWM6Cus1pcP69ramGLFxxI2EEiih2v5YHSywVDAfutNQNucpzEgeBo-/s1600/Image+%252812%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" q6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizTDgJy6idrnNf-jP-nfAtqDXSR6U0fNsbjTABUwothp-Qz4zQ0UFYWat3WJ4gfa4dSqwez0IG6X-QaX_o7DUq6sWM6Cus1pcP69ramGLFxxI2EEiih2v5YHSywVDAfutNQNucpzEgeBo-/s320/Image+%252812%2529.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and my Mommy. I wanted to be just like her.<br />
I certainly hope I am!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show - March 9, 2011</u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Luckily, I just so happen to have pictures of the cast of my favorite show that I had the privilege to photograph myself!!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5gDkA_Ll3ZFP1sqiv2gVAi2E5DDHUx6albKBfJxXvO0SUGFeLiSLEUlZsQkp6_XSsroEKmloXzirLcFhu-BIPqgMovivzg5S6EoKXRQ2Zlpga-s8lJ7eLx7l4yBTG0U311fiArZgPoOtu/s1600/rent+collage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" q6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5gDkA_Ll3ZFP1sqiv2gVAi2E5DDHUx6albKBfJxXvO0SUGFeLiSLEUlZsQkp6_XSsroEKmloXzirLcFhu-BIPqgMovivzg5S6EoKXRQ2Zlpga-s8lJ7eLx7l4yBTG0U311fiArZgPoOtu/s400/rent+collage.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="messageBody"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Day 04 - A picture of your favorite memory</u></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="messageBody"><span style="color: black;">It was really hard to decide on a photo for today! </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgig1xp4VqIap1rosf3vu5WpF7WyV_pxymGGIeu-cak64Cfe13Ekeh0DNuLHMm3wxeClTl4ClVPA8icsdJmwJD2HJvxFZzMQTYRF2OcH4gQKYcyQ3NLXylUPiEtS0pXNT_OxyxqBf5riW-5/s1600/Cookiepuppy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" q6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgig1xp4VqIap1rosf3vu5WpF7WyV_pxymGGIeu-cak64Cfe13Ekeh0DNuLHMm3wxeClTl4ClVPA8icsdJmwJD2HJvxFZzMQTYRF2OcH4gQKYcyQ3NLXylUPiEtS0pXNT_OxyxqBf5riW-5/s400/Cookiepuppy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Day 05 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most </u></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">MARCH 12, 2011</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghj0GvzC44NatZ1EhqmD69XcVlJxeBKhjGeZ0sZzg6zX9sUcWOLI-5RF5OR65WGNPYyaDT7_WBSxvvo5UaQuVSdYu-1m5GAEVRg1vZ1UkbOPhtLfs4hG11nsgfXpOjT3G4NX_vf2bf1Htp/s1600/Casper+and+Timber.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" q6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghj0GvzC44NatZ1EhqmD69XcVlJxeBKhjGeZ0sZzg6zX9sUcWOLI-5RF5OR65WGNPYyaDT7_WBSxvvo5UaQuVSdYu-1m5GAEVRg1vZ1UkbOPhtLfs4hG11nsgfXpOjT3G4NX_vf2bf1Htp/s320/Casper+and+Timber.bmp" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center"><br />
<div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day</u>. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">-March 13, 2011-</span></div><div>I thought for a bit about all the Broadway actors and other famous people I adore. When I really thought about who I would love to trade places with it I kept thinking of a friend who has already done everything I would love to do in my life ... and then some.</div><div>A picture is worth a thousand words. Here is someone, the good Lord brought into my life as a client. I love this picture as she is standing in Guatemala with her second daughter working towards a better future for the people there. When we met she had recently taken leave from the Peace Corps with her husband, but took a small piece of Guatemala with her - a pup who needed some gentle guidance and love. She was pregnant and they were running their newest venture - a family owned local vegan restaurant that encouraged community and buying local. I am thrilled that God brought be into her path. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.educatedbirthchoices.com/"><img border="0" height="360" q6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF_QwhdEHbNtXBDtdV5Qai1KJjTiMGulnVDX1BFw4RGmZmpw2YNPkbqI_QUxw1wIWVRLxfRceWUR0EzpmNEY08LwmJU9DMiO0B8IOf00qNyf3n41keO1aAE6cAjmFb5-7egGSkCDdh85yJ/s400/christina+k.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><u><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item </span></u></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">-March 15-</div>Story's worn, unwashed clothes and Keegan's worn, unwashed first outfit<a href="http://www.infusionorlando.com/">http://www.infusionorlando.com/</a><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJOdheQggBib78-bw5kZ3E0kVWXBTJKy8zmDpapfWuLQzgOwYHKQsBqDkCn7P1_PymTo-uRzaBdhHe8ATJSAs9LvkonWcdgGXfecwaecgAufzj_iCxR7zN5ILxo6F74BgMLsn7BP5aDJh-/s1600/clothes+collage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJOdheQggBib78-bw5kZ3E0kVWXBTJKy8zmDpapfWuLQzgOwYHKQsBqDkCn7P1_PymTo-uRzaBdhHe8ATJSAs9LvkonWcdgGXfecwaecgAufzj_iCxR7zN5ILxo6F74BgMLsn7BP5aDJh-/s400/clothes+collage.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><u><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh</span></u> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">-March 16, 2011-</div>I was attending a birth and Kale was with Daddy. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I came home to find this picture (and many others like it) on my camera.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoupN_faeOWyQjoI7IfejVoRBzTCM8J50AohyTmkggM_7XRXxmKKZBVs7TOWCzPiOHQSrtU7SHVnG2B-h9_RsSEDgHfZqxIzXrbL_u80rxEZrDrIIaSSEl1KsiBi63_IYfaqz3BDwfBoR1/s1600/DSC00461.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoupN_faeOWyQjoI7IfejVoRBzTCM8J50AohyTmkggM_7XRXxmKKZBVs7TOWCzPiOHQSrtU7SHVnG2B-h9_RsSEDgHfZqxIzXrbL_u80rxEZrDrIIaSSEl1KsiBi63_IYfaqz3BDwfBoR1/s400/DSC00461.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><u><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Day 9 - A picture of my night</span></u> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">-March 17, 2011- </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Chapel asleep hugging her blanket</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja6klF4-UBLVyczZDBYOYea17qyBtuYqFYwBzN1JF1IQjR6EGboRZGH7zQ8SV2pMjG6OA2O6AF4S8sy0aGgUT3mLPJbgA6p1sAkCSReaHyeE9CTu_EYrS_mylNGB8AYAqugmUi8wDYxZTn/s1600/chapel+8+months+hugging+blanket.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja6klF4-UBLVyczZDBYOYea17qyBtuYqFYwBzN1JF1IQjR6EGboRZGH7zQ8SV2pMjG6OA2O6AF4S8sy0aGgUT3mLPJbgA6p1sAkCSReaHyeE9CTu_EYrS_mylNGB8AYAqugmUi8wDYxZTn/s400/chapel+8+months+hugging+blanket.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><u><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the silliest things with</span></u></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">~March 18, 2011~</div>Yup! These are actually wedding pictures that we paid for. We're standing at the alter and Casper whips these out of his back pocket! What would I do without him?!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLX8SOyeBbfAicIm87JpD_iOirNa_ubYL9_LXOgFD9oBfki6lGOiUdWcpKuI4-ua8rZjms7KXpjyNb0YIpThHKbmcns7sFSywDdM-X09ixGJLaSPcfZwhdZIJbXXYuPu6mj9iMgDRprf8k/s1600/wedding+goofy+cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLX8SOyeBbfAicIm87JpD_iOirNa_ubYL9_LXOgFD9oBfki6lGOiUdWcpKuI4-ua8rZjms7KXpjyNb0YIpThHKbmcns7sFSywDdM-X09ixGJLaSPcfZwhdZIJbXXYuPu6mj9iMgDRprf8k/s200/wedding+goofy+cropped.jpg" width="151" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Day 11 - A picture of something you hate</u></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP16eEJphzk1tRKzk_fSFonWFHFCV-0gSPHc346Ayu5S03hyphenhyphenJYkCcsjc1gL82-v_tAjp65uZD5Q0oNR2Itbi1irhDU6GiGgMXmIc-pAARFo11jujXd3osHC_yH3JSed_Vc0tFGnabShG6i/s1600/temporary+marker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP16eEJphzk1tRKzk_fSFonWFHFCV-0gSPHc346Ayu5S03hyphenhyphenJYkCcsjc1gL82-v_tAjp65uZD5Q0oNR2Itbi1irhDU6GiGgMXmIc-pAARFo11jujXd3osHC_yH3JSed_Vc0tFGnabShG6i/s400/temporary+marker.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I hate that this is real.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I hate that this is needed.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I hate that anyone has to bury their baby.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Day 12 - A picture of something you love </u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">~March 20, 2011~</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJwwsASGaJhmzhRz8i8vSt1GxQOkXgd_PNB4sIVTMyS-WaEuJtZ6ftZWg03vt-zqYF-FiWZxThOhHEq6XAE1ztmystTyXf50BmNETcLkSJ8IGzmH9cl18dGi5jFdLEQi4GYzEcOgzQpNSK/s1600/forgive+your+enemies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJwwsASGaJhmzhRz8i8vSt1GxQOkXgd_PNB4sIVTMyS-WaEuJtZ6ftZWg03vt-zqYF-FiWZxThOhHEq6XAE1ztmystTyXf50BmNETcLkSJ8IGzmH9cl18dGi5jFdLEQi4GYzEcOgzQpNSK/s320/forgive+your+enemies.jpg" width="302" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist</u></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">-March 21, 2011-</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHSsbgYxvtqz1LFvn7hml05kSMio5TbFJyXL11TWSvAiiEv_DQyL9-YzG5HPzWhegRlr-O3Rm36LpBCThagEw4NDr44KMcTY5caCcfcklUNiRKAD4YvNgsMjVpkqmRvyruu7zmUXYUy9Zy/s1600/anthony+rapp.bmp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHSsbgYxvtqz1LFvn7hml05kSMio5TbFJyXL11TWSvAiiEv_DQyL9-YzG5HPzWhegRlr-O3Rm36LpBCThagEw4NDr44KMcTY5caCcfcklUNiRKAD4YvNgsMjVpkqmRvyruu7zmUXYUy9Zy/s320/anthony+rapp.bmp.jpg" width="249" /></a></div><div align="center"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without</u></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">~March 22~</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNv3Qs-Pk2FCGXPFQ7i7VPfNa9O2pzPino-s5M3dyIGGE6fTE8hBqq0jGHDZMUjNlXzFcedXQ7Ya7zwG4vG_3ixTWhRfpCbDpqfovttY4tx7nSavyGXWW3wc2Gmn1i7yMfzILKPeNntg4c/s1600/Easter+Sunday+2010.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNv3Qs-Pk2FCGXPFQ7i7VPfNa9O2pzPino-s5M3dyIGGE6fTE8hBqq0jGHDZMUjNlXzFcedXQ7Ya7zwG4vG_3ixTWhRfpCbDpqfovttY4tx7nSavyGXWW3wc2Gmn1i7yMfzILKPeNntg4c/s400/Easter+Sunday+2010.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die</u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">March 23, 2011</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy6uSUvL7ppGARyxWDHR4uRX6aVBmOYiwtbmwElzACshQdiRvvDERuYtFZHIFjjupAXJnxZ0lZ9lVuSGARWU0mcf5VLSU5vvYv20dh5DYM7TzfIfg5RTcmxf7t9UeYdqmmfQ6yeNsQAu6b/s1600/Diane+and+Baby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy6uSUvL7ppGARyxWDHR4uRX6aVBmOYiwtbmwElzACshQdiRvvDERuYtFZHIFjjupAXJnxZ0lZ9lVuSGARWU0mcf5VLSU5vvYv20dh5DYM7TzfIfg5RTcmxf7t9UeYdqmmfQ6yeNsQAu6b/s320/Diane+and+Baby.jpg" width="250" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><u>Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you</u></span></div><div style="text-align: center;">03/24/2011</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://hopeinthegrief.blogspot.com/"><img border="0" height="256" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp3x1UnTmwJkLW_B9Ui9p9T8BfHKJfTus5fD0ulkiBH3NIyI3P8RxJb_0xKpJQtaj8pZeWyOodtmIgKyHZiuk6EZlTwdKqceFIQmXefMIgWDCs8dBv6eXPIjlLp9CnEj5dcVyBZI4qHRSj/s400/dahlens.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently</u></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">March 25, 2011</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7UoUUDYoWLDmEG1ss9C8sMIr4RP7K4GD_w0NGRaQtyNI6fvR_qDMJqSjZT2XMF2fBymZz8Z31wpMXXKGfatfvJN9io2TlP2QL3l629NBj8TgJqdLA_t9F2SolF2LKdY10Zo7IWvPlbzAf/s1600/christmas+FL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="340" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7UoUUDYoWLDmEG1ss9C8sMIr4RP7K4GD_w0NGRaQtyNI6fvR_qDMJqSjZT2XMF2fBymZz8Z31wpMXXKGfatfvJN9io2TlP2QL3l629NBj8TgJqdLA_t9F2SolF2LKdY10Zo7IWvPlbzAf/s400/christmas+FL.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity</u></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">March 27, 2011</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiABGD3pzgngBSTpeHBafhW9AaHDbpylfRYe9I4cDMGWMWET1ACjUTvUovl0uzc99NRUukq5MgJQJN7slrPaQLjUG5Ssrc3bxbwx3PMcJHTIwNzYUJUxneI3WBilCyGNuDbAVE9eiK2rZRY/s1600/realmom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiABGD3pzgngBSTpeHBafhW9AaHDbpylfRYe9I4cDMGWMWET1ACjUTvUovl0uzc99NRUukq5MgJQJN7slrPaQLjUG5Ssrc3bxbwx3PMcJHTIwNzYUJUxneI3WBilCyGNuDbAVE9eiK2rZRY/s320/realmom.jpg" width="224" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(I wasn't about to strike a pose - but you get the idea.)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little</u></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">-March 28-</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-yCboiByVOTvu_ZTJ380j5UmE_UUbA8eb8R57hweqiQ6bEQV-emKyjzObTyPKvm-c33Lpi8ZLWUmnvTSp-vcJfY4bzoQiS3HW3w8v0xBDf4L1_WaENQr-Jb79oeLPL5dQIoTu8AHG1QmK/s1600/Andreawaterski.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-yCboiByVOTvu_ZTJ380j5UmE_UUbA8eb8R57hweqiQ6bEQV-emKyjzObTyPKvm-c33Lpi8ZLWUmnvTSp-vcJfY4bzoQiS3HW3w8v0xBDf4L1_WaENQr-Jb79oeLPL5dQIoTu8AHG1QmK/s400/Andreawaterski.jpg" width="277" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><u>Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel</u></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoWjYfLZPmiblJO1BvOfx2X7hO2vYiOb5I34gKou9wT5Obq0FTtAmu6Y7jnSUychRpEbM1UPwoqy2OnjiT2ckTdsFM1S9z4ttDGEUo187twDVAPRpBcUGM8XwGW75mtc8eSz1yRr44lrt2/s1600/future.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoWjYfLZPmiblJO1BvOfx2X7hO2vYiOb5I34gKou9wT5Obq0FTtAmu6Y7jnSUychRpEbM1UPwoqy2OnjiT2ckTdsFM1S9z4ttDGEUo187twDVAPRpBcUGM8XwGW75mtc8eSz1yRr44lrt2/s1600/future.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If there was <em>any </em>place <em>anywhere</em> that I could travel to - it would be back in time. <br />
<strong>I would fix it<em> all</em>!</strong></td></tr>
</tbody></table></div>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-89830496173899928992011-03-29T15:59:00.001-07:002024-01-18T18:38:56.383-08:00our pregnancy announcement<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>I really wanted to insert my thoughts. I re-read this letter from time to time. I look at our pregnancy announcement with such painful desire to close my eyes, click my heals and be back there ... Pregnancy meant having a baby and happy times to come. Isn't that what our future held in this innocent picture? The link hasn't changed since we sent out the letter in 2008. I doubt it ever will. </em></span><br />
<h1 style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 15.0pt;">The Branagan's Christmas Letter 2008</span></h1><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><em><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Yup, another one!)</span></em></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in;">Good Christmas to all! Wow, how has another year passed already? How is it possible we just celebrated the kids' birthdays? Kale turned 6 an d Timber turned 2 on December 3. For their birthdays, we were super-blessed by our mom and dad Mamola, who gave us an awesome vacation to Jersey and New York for the kids' birthdays. What an amazing time! Kale and Timber enjoyed every minute of Grandma and Grandpa time, and the touristy stuff in New York City was just icing on the cake. We went to see the Rockettes Christmas Show, which was breathtaking. Our trip to F.A.O Swartz could have kept us there for days – not just for the kids – but the adults were having just as much fun. The freezing cold was refreshing . . . not so much to the kids – but for us, it was great to have a white Christmas. Yes, it snowed the last day we were in Jersey. God knew how much we needed the snow! Kale learned how to ice skate, within just a few minutes, in the famous Rockefeller Center Ice Rink. We visited quite few tourist spots in New Jersey and New York, including The Life Café (to get our RENT fix!), but the main attraction was great grandma's surprise birthday party! If only we could visit more often.<br />
Things have really been happening for Casper at work. I can't brag enough about what an amazing integrity he has with even the highest managers in his company. He has been within the top three sales people in the entire company for four months in a row. Just two months ago he was the number one sales person for Massey Services. He truly believes in what he is doing and cares about all of his customers. He's gone above and beyond the call of his job for years and now his customers and superiors responding with resounding praise. He just took the last state board test to be a "triple threat" he will soon hold accreditations in all three fields that Massey works with – Pest Control, Termite, and he just completed Lawn & Ornamental, he will be one of a very select few within the state who holds all three certifications. <br />
The Branagan's are on a roll with new frontiers! We have a great new project under construction! But you must check this website to see what's going on: <strong><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://i430.photobucket.com/albums/qq21/cxbranagan/underconstruction.jpg">http://i430.photobucket.com/albums/qq21/cxbranagan/underconstruction.jpg</a></span></i></strong> (As if the letter isn't enough?!) The site should be up and running by Christmas. We cannot wait to hear feedback!<br />
Casper was named the Youth Director of our church. We go to Woodbury Presbyterian Church every Wednesday night and Casper leads the youth group, called Y-Zone. We also teach the middle and high school Sunday school class on Sunday morning. Kale and Timber are the "Y-Zone Mascots" because they hang out with all the middle and high school kids, as well as attend all the Y-zone functions. It's kind of funny how much our young kids have taught the teenagers about life and faith in Jesus. What a blessing Kale and Timber are to everyone who knows them.<br />
We're thrilled with everything the Lord is doing in our lives. We're hoping to close on a house in January. It is a beautiful house in Christmas, Florida that sits on 2 acres. We plan to start a farm and mobile petting zoo. Everyone always said I'd end up working with animals as a career! I'm still caring for children during the day. Right now, I have three great kids that come during the week. They all get along so well. It's a treat to watch them play and interact. Home schooling is working out well for Kale and I. He is very intelligent, creative, and artistic. It just blows me away, how quickly he picks up on anything we're studying. He's reading and writing and has decided he wants to be a mechanical engineer and build robots when he grows up. Timber is a little spitfire who loves to play and do everything her big brother does. She's talking and it seems she went straight from crawling to running! What a daredevil. There's so much more we could say about the joy and blessings in this past year; but for now, we'll just say Merry Christmas and may the coming year bring you joy, and blessings too!<br />
Love,<br />
Casper, Andrea, Kale, and Timber<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454081510100645585.post-11698461718716958492011-03-28T20:34:00.001-07:002011-03-28T20:48:39.792-07:00awesome advice -warning- snarky<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">You can always have more [children].</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Focus on what you have. You are blessed to have your [living] children.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><em>We</em> decided, ok I will be honest,<em> I</em> decided and my sweet husband felt the same pull, to have another child. <span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We told no one of this thought.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">I was afraid. We were afraid. I was afraid that “trying” for another baby was betraying the sweet girl we had buried. I was afraid that I wouldn’t get pregnant. I was afraid I would get pregnant. I was afraid to imagine a future at all. Taking things a day at a time seemed the best we could do. I kept hearing my favorite musical “There is no future. There is not past. We live each moment as our last.” It felt too real. I understand now, that every moment <i>really could</i> be the last. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the last for <i>me</i>. I wasn’t suicidal; but like any mother, I wanted it to be me, not her. The chorus played constantly in my head. I’m a Christian, yet this musical that I love would play more often than I read the Bible. Why must it go against most of what I know to be truth? Why does it resonate so deep? I still haven’t been able to wrap my head around the primal bond with rent. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Back to the issue at hand. I was replacing her. It was that simple for anyone who saw the situation in black and white. It is <i>that </i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">easy. Just have another one. Of course, we could just run to the supermarket and buy a new one! If it is super valuable, we may have to search ebay, but we can always find a replacement. ~Snarky as hell~ </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Yes, that is </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">really</i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"> what people think. “Just have another.” That will, <smacking forehead> make it all better. Why didn’t <b>I</b> think of that! I can now solve all grieving mother’s problems based on the awesome advice – just focus on the children you have and be thankful. If you don’t have other children, just have another one. <beating head against wall> I am so glad I was able to incorporate all of the useful advice and help so many.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 22pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">THANKS!</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 22pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div>spazzershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09131801083381520730noreply@blogger.com5