I am broken and gone. The worst has happened

 What in the actual Fuck?

This is real. The biggest fear has come to pass. I lost my kids. He took my kids. He broke my kids. I don't know why I've stayed at this point. They're long gone. The only thing that kept me alive, kept me going ... was fighting for them. But they aren't my children anymore. They are victims of his abuse. Alienation, threats, gaslighting, misrebrance of the past. He's had two years to drill it into them. But he started years before he threw me out - by arrest. He stole my children, my home, my family, my business and even took away my dreams. I'll never have a career. I'm going to  be a pathetic 60 year old dog walker. I'm hoping my parents are very much incapacitated soon. I want them to realize that they started writing off the only person who cared about them when I was nine years old. If I'm lucky my dad will do something stupid and just die. I've sat in the ICU with him as a John Doe more than once. He will be a better parent to me 6 feet under than he ever has alive. If I'm really lucky... he'll take the psycho wife with him. Two birds. My mother, I missed her at first. But when I've realized what she's become ... she's already a zombie. She was a terrible mother and when I didn't think she could get worse ... MY broken heart over losing my kids to my narcissist ex was too stressful for her. If I'm lucky, the stress will take her out.

I will not attend or even take part in planning these funerals. By dad ... he doesn't have anyone else. My mom, I can only hope I'm not named on anything. Most importantly, for the first time in my life, if they could be helpful loving parents, they will be 6ft under by December